Pac-Man was a big, fat coward

I played a fair amount of Pac-Man as a kid, standing on a stool to reach the controls and watch the pretty lights. I wasn’t very good, probably because I wanted the ghosts to win.

Blinky, Pinky (who I was sure was really a girl), Inky and Clyde had so much more personality. They had faces, a mission and they turned my favorite color (blue) when the P-man ate a power pellet. All the yellow dot did was eat and eat while running away—and he never looked you in the eye. (What was he hiding?)

I mean, really—Pac-Man was nothing but a gluttonous coward.

No wonder I always lost.

(Jarvis el platform, Rogers Park, Chicago.)


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